The safety net of singleness

I often speak to many single people and I have increasingly come across people who actually relish their singleness and have no desire to couple up. This got me thinking about the attractiveness of being single as a way of life and actively choosing the single life and not pursuing dating, partnering-up, marriage or whatever else. Indeed, the simplicity and peace of being single is actually, for some, more alluring in many ways. 

I recall once meeting a lovely guy who was great, possibly encompassing all that I had been looking for! (Yes, I am shocked as well.) Then it dawned on me, if I was also everything he was looking for, and everything else went well between us, then I may never date again! No more crazy dating stories, no more exciting moments waiting for my blind date to arrive ....wondering if every guy who walked past was the one that I was meeting! The anticipation and expectation of the hope of meeting new people would be gone! In only a few months I could be in the world of the predictable and mundane. At that time I couldn't give up my singleness...

Clearly being single can be great! It can be fun and exciting. You don't have to discuss everything with someone else, you can be much more efficient and get on with whatever is at hand. Having the much coveted alone time and solitude, to sort out your thoughts, is often easier to achieve when you are single. So should singleness be desired? I guess it is by some people....

Given that we are such social creatures, is this practical? Could long term singleness actually be closing yourself off to treasures that life may have for us? Of course other social networks can bring connection, meaning and community but is that enough? And even so, in actively choosing a single life, does that mean you miss out on other joy's that a relationship can bring?

I do wonder if remaining single can be a form a self protection for some people who create a safety net to protect themselves from the potential hurt and pain by letting someone they love and care about them into their lives. 

Singleness can be like an anesthetic that stops you from being vulnerable to potential relationship pain......but also the pleasure, fulfillment and joy of a relationship.

There is nothing wrong with actively choosing a single life unless it is from a place of fear. My question, is whether the safety-net of remaining single is worth while? After all, remaining single may give protection from heart-break and pain but this is at the sacrifice of love, fulfillment and joy. That is a question for every person choosing to be single should consider....

Choosing singleness for the right reasons is fine, in fact, even in the Bible it is clear that some people are called to live single. So if you find yourself choosing to be single perhaps it is helpful to know within yourself why you have made that decision - which is a great place to confidently move forwards in life from.