Once upon a time I had a fairly awful relationship break-up. We had been together for a while but not ages and all seemed well. Until one day it was suddenly over in the course of a 30 minute phone call and I was never to see him again.... until last week!
At the time of the break-up it was really tough, isn't that always the case? As time moved along, so did I and I got to a point where I could barely remember his name, let alone his face. As well as this I have since been preoccupied with many wonderful things like adventures and a few less wonderful things like illness. However, I was busy and got on with my life.
When I saw him last week I actually didn't realise it was him to begin with. He looked different. He had aged. He had shrunk. Maybe he quit his gym membership or maybe it was simply a reflection of my opinion of him! Whatever it was, he didn't seem even half the man that I had once thought him to be.
I realise that at times my judgement could have been better in my relationship choices yet this was very bizarre. As I locked eyes on him, it look me a few minutes to even register it was him and as soon as I did, I headed in the opposite direction and didn't look back. Much like when the relationship ended....
I don't even know if he saw me.
My ex didn't look good, at all. Even my darling mother had once said that he was a good looking man but he was so different this time. Maybe seeing the dark side of him and his narrow-minded stubbornness in our final 30 minutes together was enough to mask his looks. Perhaps life had got hard....
Taking all of this on board made me reflect on my life now, in the present. I am happy, loved and pretty satisfied with my life. Much more than I ever was when he was part of it. I don't have a single regret and am actually in such a good place that I feel grateful that he has not only exited my life stage left but also made me grateful for the great people in my life right now.
I suppose in the middle of a situation or crisis things can seem so bad that you can lose perspective. Think about a forest fire, it is destructive and burns the vegetation and sometimes poor animals too, yet fire brings new life. Seeds grow, the ash is full of nutrients and life starts again. This has certainly been my experience and not only has "life started again" it is so much better and had he stayed in my life, I would not have got to the point I am at right now.
There are always things to be grateful for!
The best thing I can recommend is not to look back, the past is behind you and you don't want to miss your present and all the great things you have ahead of you in your future.
