Monday 19 February 2018

What can we learn from Barnaby Joyce?

The Prime Minister of Australia has announced that he will sack ministers who have sex with staff. Barnaby Joyce certainly has a lot to answer for....

The debate has been raging for the last few weeks.... should private business remain private? Or is being the leader of the National Party and Deputy Prime Minister sufficient to warrant total public scrutiny? Were public funds misused? Should Barnaby lose his job? Should our politicians be more focused on leading our country? Probably. Yet the issues that the whole Joyce saga has dug up makes it now a public affair.

Can we learn anything from Barnaby Joyce? Would you want to?.... 
Perhaps. 

It cannot be argued that an overwhelming majority of couples do meet in the work place. Let's face it you spend the majority of your life at work and just the sheer fact of spending upwards of 8 hours a day, five days a week in the office with a bunch of people means you will get to know your colleagues well. Really well.  Perhaps some more than others and maybe, even some of them may start to grow on you. A lot. A couple may become friends and in some cases, more than friends. 

Before we go running off into the sunset with our darling colleague, let's remember the work place is a professional environment - after all your sole purpose to be there to do work that you are getting paid to do. 

This is also a time to remember the importance of good, healthy boundaries. This includes things like coffee catch ups, late nights staying back in the office with just the two of you....it's a slippery slope so avoidance of these circumstances is only going to be helpful. 

Naturally organisational policies must be adhered to yet sometimes love can supersede that, and even distract you from focusing on your job. I would suggest this is exactly when it is time to get a new job, or at least start putting the feelers out for something else - especially if it is your superior with whom the sparks are flying. 

Imagine...


Be mindful that not all relationships work out (hello, have you ready my blog!). What if things don't go as hoed out and you end up hurt and still see them every day! Sometimes space is a good thing and office love is one of those times. Besides, who wants to be the topic of gossip around the water-cooler? No thanks. 

In my humble opinion one of you must simply get a new job and enjoy the privacy of your relationship without being worried about gossip or politics for that matter! (I do know of a few couples, in large organisations, where their relationship has lasted and it has worked out beautifully but typically they have been in different areas of the organisation - which leads me to my next point perfectly...)

Be transparent and accountable. You are in love with someone, great, but wait you have something holding you back, like perhaps a wife? Or husband. No! Alarm bells should sound and it is best to step back. Surround yourself with wise counsel and do the right thing by all parties. Acting out of emotion, or feelings alone, is simply not sufficient, especially when the situation is complex. Love is not about your own desires but about sacrificially putting others ahead of yourself (Note: I learnt that one from Christ, not Barnaby Joyce). 

What is clear from the situation with Barnaby Joyce is that his affair has now impacted the nation. Everyone is talking about it and so clearly his actions have impacted more than the women he has been in relations with. Thinking beyond ourselves is important and not doing so can seriously underestimate the consequences of your actions. Sometimes your private life simply isn't private, especially if the nation looks for you to uphold integrity as one of its key leaders. Even if the nation doesn't look up to you as a key leader, someone will, so be a good example.

If you don't have your integrity, what do you have?

There are probably multiple lessons that we can take home from how Barnaby has conducted his ............errrrrr affairs. Without stating the obvious, don't cheat on your partner, don't get your colleague pregnant and in short, do the right thing. Always. Thanks Barnaby for the reminder.

Do the right thing. 

Monday 12 February 2018

Happy Valentines Day? Are you feeling the love?

It comes around every year almost as a reminder for complacent couples to show their love to well, their loved one! As I reflect on the Valentines Day with all the associated expense....chocolates, flowers and of course dinner, I am mildly amused that the way we celebrate our love, something that money can't buy, is with everything money can buy! It makes me wonder if somewhere along the way we have diluted love to Chocolates and Flowers Day.
It is certainly important to ensure that our loved ones know we care and cherish for them, but that should not be an annual event, every 14th February. Neither should it be exclusive for only celebrating the type of love that is romantic. NO.


I am pleased to say that for the majority of my life (probably since I knew what Valentines Day was) I received a card from my Mum - she also tells me she loves me every day, which is my exact point. The people we love, should know we love them - that should be a way of life and not an annual event. By all means throw in a card every 14th Feb as well but don't wait until then.

For single people, I think there can be a greater sting each 14th February, as perhaps cards, flowers and chocolates don't bombard you. Does that mean you are any less loved? NO. Of course not. It just means you are single. As I have discussed before there are many wonderful things about being single but Valentines Day should also be a reminder that you too are loved, even if it is by you Mum, or God, or whoever. 

YOU ARE LOVED.

As you can probably tell, I am not a Valentines Day fan. This year it is a bit different for me because I am very blessed to have a new loved on in my life. I will call him Dave* and Dave was keen to do something for Valentine Day.... until I told him not to cancel his regular weekly plans and as we catch up the next day, like we always do. Perhaps I am unromantic, that's okay. Dave makes a decent effort every week to well, yes, actually make an effort and isn't that the point? I don't need Dave to do that 14th February but I do need to know he cares, and he does and so I am okay if that isn't particularly highlighted on Valentines Day.

Valentines Day should perhaps be the "You are loved day". Let's not dwell on the chocolates and flowers - the things that money can buy and instead remember the gift of love, in whatever form that may be and be grateful that you actually have something that is priceless. That is something to celebrate every single day.


*Name changed to Dave because Dave isn't his name.