The soul mate debate...

I have been pondering over the existence of the concept of having a soul mate. You know what I mean, the ONE. Is there only one person for each of us to truly find connection with?

As a child I certainly believed in the one, true soul mate but then I also believed in the tooth fairy...hilariously, I didn't ever believe in Santa because the moment my parents told me that an old man would come into my room to give me presents, I broke down into a hysteria of uncontrollable tears, being totally heartbroken with the knowledge that an old man would come into my room. My well-meaning parents were forced to immediately come clean as the only way to effectively console me. I totally missed the point about getting presents but nonetheless you can't blame me for not wanting an old man in my room - that remains true today! However, do I still believe that Prince Charming will leave his castle just to rescue me, on his white horse, so that we can then go off into the sunset and live happily ever after? Is that how it works when you meet your soul mate?

Hmmmm……

There was a time when I was fairly certain that Nick Carter, from the Backstreet Boys, was my soul mate but that didn't quite get off the ground. Was he the ONE that got away?

I definitely like the concept of a soul mate and always feel encouraged and inspired by stories of people who have found their soul mate. You know the kind of stories where their eyes meet across the room and then everything works out perfectly forevermore…

I have heard of some miraculous stories where there was divine intervention that brought the happy couple together. I even met one couple who simply knew that they were destined to be together from their first date. Years later they are still happily in love. That would be a good date, so efficient!

It isn’t impossible. Is it?

Yet I can’t help but wonder why some people have these incredible stories of how they met and so many people do not. There are currently 7 billion people on earth so the logical part of me reasons that it is a bit unreasonable that there is just one person out there who we could be happy with. Or is the soul mate more than that? Either way I do ponder...

Is there anybody out there??????? 

(I can almost hear the echo.)

What if my soul mate happens to be a tribes man living in a remote area of the Amazon*? What chance will I have in finding the poor dude? I would definitely need divine intervention to ever meet him. I don’t often pop into the Amazon, in fact I haven’t ever popped into the Amazon and am unlikely to so. Does that mean I forgo my happiness because we simply never cross paths?

7 billion : 1

It isn’t great odds really. Luckily I am not one for betting. I wouldn’t be game for those odds! Having a good date is a rare enough occurrence but locating a soul mate is another matter altogether. I suppose it is like finding a needle in a haystack. 

  

When I go on a date for the first time, I have learnt to discern quickly whether we have a connection and if we will see each other again. You just know, instinctively, that for whatever reason, that it won’t go any further. I do wonder if perhaps it is the same experience when you meet your soul mate – you know. 

People do say that when you meet the ONE “you just know.” I do find this soul mate insight is very annoying because as a single person, without a soul mate, I can’t really make sense of that until I meet the ONE and then  I will be enlightened on the knowledge of this elusive being. However, until then you are left in the dark, clueless, wondering, could it be him? Or worse, crying out, where the hell is my Amazonian Prince?

I suppose this is the crux of my reluctance to accept that we all have a designated soul mate – I can’t understand it because it hasn’t happened to me, YET! Naturally I have hope that he will appear, but I simply cannot get this concept because my soul mate is still navigating his way through the Amazon or outback or both!

While a soul mate seems to me as unlikely as the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, it isn’t a proven impossibility. I accept that many people have happily found their soul mate, yet I do wonder about the people who have found and then lost their soul mate, through whatever circumstances. Could that be it for them, it is just one shot? Does this mean they never find love and happiness again?  I don' think so. That doesn’t sit well with me at all. 

Surely a soul mate is more than a magical moment of true love, as  so many Disney movies would have us believe but there must surely be a practical choice made to work it out with them no matter what. 

I do think that perhaps the soul mate is only truly found when both the head and heart come together and the choice is actively made that you will be together for better or for worse. It isn’t so much about Prince Charming on his white horse emerging from the Amazon but more of a conscious choice, that amid locking eyes together from across the room, that you will both, together, align your walk to be in time with each other. That is something to aspire to.

So I can't wholeheartedly affirm whether soul mates do or do not exist. I hope they do, but I don't truly know, yet! I will let you know when I come across mine because the one thing that does seem clear is that when you know, you just know! And yes, I do realize how unhelpful that is, yet there doesn't appear to be any other way to know, until you just know!

*Amazon could also be substituted for Sub-Sahara, Iceland, Timbuktu and basically anywhere else you can think of in the world.