Online dating: this is why I won't click on your profile

Often I find myself in discussions about online dating. The pros. The cons. The surprises when you meet them in person.... It is undeniable that as more and more of our lives move online that relationships do - or at least the introductions. 

As you have possibly read, in earlier posts, I have done a fair share of online dating. I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it. I love it because it is easy and accessible but hate it because it is so time consuming and has typically been unsuccessful in finding a real connection with anyone. This is after a decade long commitment to it. 

As I have scrolled through endless profiles over the years, I can hear the voices of friends in my life (typically guys) ask me "why don't women click on my profile?" I feel for them, they are decent guys. As part of my own search for love I have naturally been  online profiles. Then I noticed why I wasn't clicking on most of them. There was a theme. It was due to the opening headlines of some of guys online profiles. Here are some examples and my thoughts about why I didn't bother to reach out to them......

Darren, 36 "What can I say? Okay so a bit about me....This is the part I normally stuff up..."

What do I think? "Darren, it would appear that you are correct - you have already stuffed it up! At least you are honest, I suppose."


Mike, 31 "I am a lawyer. I love my occupation. I love working."

My thoughts are, "Must be time to get back to work Mike, or even, time to find some hobbies or even a life or even your identity. Mike you are more than your job!"


Dave, 33 "Have fun, live, grow!"

My response, "Are you a motivational coach Dave? Perhaps you are on the wrong website?"


Adam, 35 "I am fairly centered when those around me tend to lose their heads."

What do I think, "Adam, what type of people do you hang with? No wonder you are only 'fairly centered'.... what does 'lose their heads' even mean? In fact, never mind, I am off! " 

NEXT.

Sam, 34 "Cheeky."

I have no words for this. 


Mike, 39 "Maldives, Dubai and Paris are the places we would visit together."

My thoughts are, "Mike, you sound full of it. I don't even know if I want a coffee with you, let alone go on a long haul flight to the other side of the world. Bon voyage!"


Jack, 30 "Hmmmm I guess I am kind."

This one got me thinking "Jack you need to take some time to find yourself and find out exactly who you are, and whether you are actually kind. 'Guessing' you are kind, is not enough for me. I need someone who knows who he is - without taking a guess." I guess I know enough about you already.


Cam, 28 "I am clumsy but generally competent."

What? This is how you are introducing yourself to me? What does 'generally' competent mean? These are traits, who are you Cam? Can the real Cam please stand up!


Ian, 33 "Easy going guy that likes to laugh."

Does anyone not enjoy laughing? Is it even possible to not enjoy laughing? 


Frank, 38 "Easy going guy that likes to laugh."

This sounds familiar, do you ever go by the name of Ian?


Matt, 27, "Easy going guy that likes to laugh."

Okay so you have also paid for someone to write your profile?! Creative. Generic, boring and sounds suspicious...maybe a fake profile, or catfish. Whatever the case I am not interested in finding out anymore. Bye.

Perhaps I am a bit harsh but there are so many profiles to scroll through that you simply cannot click on each one of them. It is a needle in a hay-stack type of operation and time consuming enough as it is. So for me, and probably many other woman (and men), having opening headlines like the above make it easier to eliminate people from the list, especially those who don't seem to have a clear grasp of who they are. 

My advice is to really think about who you are and to concisely communicate that in your headline. Be accurate, honest and be aware of humour - it doesn't always come across well when written, as opposed to in person. Even if you are an easy going guy that likes to laugh, tell me more, be more specific about WHO you are and what makes you tick. After all the whole point of dating is getting to know someone.