I miss being single - 7 luxuries of singleness

“I miss being single” my married friend* declared over dinner on Friday evening. I was stunned. What on earth could my friend miss? She had been happily married for a few years and with her approval she taught me about some of the great luxuries of being single. 

Here are 7 reasons to cherish singleness!

1.      You can be more spontaneous.

This is a huge luxury because in a relationship there is often the need to consult with your partner, discuss and then compromise what you will do. This is not the case when you are single and you can just go with the flow, meandering along and seeing where the wind takes you. Ah the freedom!

2.      Decision making is easier.

In some ways this point is similar to the above. As a single person you can make decisions on according to your own rationale, without having to have enormous discussions on the best thing to do in any situation, from what'd for dinner to shall you move overseas is entirely up to you. Indeed, you can instantly decide you are moving to Auckland, pack your bags and go, without even discussing this life changing decision with anyone else. With a partner in tow the decision making process is not as straight forward.

3.      Social circles are simpler to navigate.

There are no in-laws or weird uni mates that your your partner  catches up with to navigate. The people you hang with are the ones you choose to spend time with because you love and care for them. By contrast having to spent your valuable free time with people you aren’t that close to, or in some cases you don't even particularly like, is nothing short but a labor of love. A labor that single people do not have to endure. Hurrrrrrah.

4.      Easy access to quiet time.

Getting that all important down time, where you can be alone and chill out is apparently much harder when you are not single. This is something that should be a cherished luxury by single people because for others this is as rare as hen’s teeth.

5.      Using your time as you decide.

Yes! As single people you do not need to do stuff you don’t care about, you know like standing on the sidelines of a muddy field, in  freezing cold weather, watching your partner play soccer. Similarly, you don't need to pretend that you are following the Premier League or that care about the off-side rule, when you are single. It is quite simple, you can do the stuff that you are passionate about and if you don’t care about it or don’t want to do something, then, mostly, you don’t need to do it. Yet if your partner has a keen passion for golf, or worse, cricket, then by default, so you do need to take some kind of active interest in it. 

6.      Accountability is mainly to yourself.

Buy the handbag, eat the doughnut – life is simply too short not to. And you can pretty much justify anything, according to your own reasoning, without the input of anyone else. Accountability is important, whether you are single or not, but equally you need to enjoy yourself as well and as a single person you can make your own rules with how you live your life.

7.      Flirting.

Yes, flirting. 

“I miss flirting. I flirt with my husband but it’s not the same”

These are the exact words of my married friend, who misses the freedom that she previously had to flirt with whoever she pleased, whenever she pleased. This is a great reminder to bat your eye lashes and enjoy the moments of flirting while you can!

There we have it, singleness isn’t a curse at all, it can be a blessing full of luxurious moments that couples simply do not have. If only it was packaged in the same way as other luxuries in life then it may seem more appealing.

*friend – thank you for your insights, they bring so much joy!