When shouldn't you date?

Often as single people we go on dates as we search for our partner. I have read that it is a numbers game. The more people you date = the greater likelihood you will have of meeting someone you connect with. This makes for hard work and a real commitment to finding someone. But are there times when you should reconsider your commitment to dating? I think that perhaps there are certain times in life that dating may not be the central priority. Happily there is a time for everything under the sun but sometimes that may not be dating....

# Moving house

As stressful as the loss of a partner is moving house. In fact moving is one of the most stressful situations a person can experience in life. Dating while in a high stress situation will not help your stress or your poor date.

# Super busy at work 

Dating is hard work and if you don't have the time to commit because of work commitments then you need to be clear about your priorities and intentions. Work is important but so is keeping your commitments. If your energy levels are too low to catch dinner after work as you promised hen perhaps it's time to reassess things.

# Travelling

Travelling and dating are like arch enemies. They are like Angelina and Jennifer. There is no way in hell anything good will come from it. If you are traveling then travel but starting a new relationship at the same time will have extra complexities because you cannot spend as much time together as you need to grown your relationship. Perhaps it could work be okay if the travel was short lived but going away for an extended period of time will make dating someone back home tough.

# Interviewing for a new job

Changing jobs is a bit like moving house, really unsettling and very stressful. Plus interviewing is hard work and exhausting. It's not the ideal time to also be dating, especially if you struggle to deal with rejection because not getting a job and not getting a date could be too much bad news in one go. Maybe wait until you have your fabulous new job and then you will be in a much more settled place to move forwards in other areas of your life too.

# When your'e grieving

Grief is truly awful but know that with time it does fade. Of course the memories never leave you but working through grief is tough. It comes and goes in waves that hit you like nothing else, especially when you're not expecting it and you don't really want to burst into tears on a date because something triggered you off. Dealing with loss is so hard and it can totally consume your thoughts. This is a time to be kind to yourself, surround yourself with loved ones and friends and ride the waves that come at you, one day at a time.

#When you're sick 

Nothing is good when you are sick. Health is so essential that as soon as it's not there every area of life is negatively impacted. If you become unwell and there is a charming  stranger on the horizon, tell them you can't meet for a few weeks (or however long you need to recover), if they are worth your time, they will stick around, if not then at least you didn't get too far down the line. Without good health it is hard to bring anything g healthy into a new relationship and that isn't fair on you or on your date, especially if you are contagious!

When life is unstable it can make bringing someone else into it really tricky, not impossible but tricky. Life can be complex and so you could ask whether there is ever a good time to date? Only you can truly know but perhaps be aware of the above scenarios so that you don't take on too much.

Personally, I would never, ever (again!)  date especially when one or more of the above are in your life, such as you are moving house and you're sick. Or you are travelling and super busy, or the worst possible scenario all of the above are present in you life!

It may be tempting to have a mate along side you during stressful times but actually it can be detrimental to your future relationship, especially when it is such early days. You need to be able to give the baby seedling of your relationship all the attention and nurture it requires,  and more importantly,  deserves . With distractions like the above situations it can become impossible to do that and so there will be casualties. Imagine, you could find yourself heartbroken as well as dealing with whatever other situation you are also facing and with so much else happening in life is something you could almost certainly could do without.