Sometimes something happens for the very last time and at the time you don't realize that it's the end, as there is little or no warning but suddenly it is all over and never to be the same again. It is shocking, surprising and in my experience rather distressing.
Once upon a time, I had been in a relationship with someone and it got to the fairly significant point in our time together when we were not looking to call it a day but actually bring our families together and meet. This is a good thing, right?
This is a point of time in a relationship that I have rarely achieved. It's significant. This was no longer simple coffee catch ups, sprinkled with the odd dinner. Nope! This was a moment beyond the two of us. We were now involving our most significant loved ones.
I can almost hear the drum roll....
We had a very civilized lunch. All went well. He was on his best behaviour. My clan followed their careful instructions and all went well. There was plenty of mutual ground between us all and it was a really pleasant time together. In fact it was so pleasant that my darling boyfriend had taken it upon himself to make plans with my mother for a few days later, entirely independently of me. Whooooooa!
As we said our goodbyes he and my mum were like old buddies, they had even walked his dog along the beach together! This all seemed a bit like, well, yes, a walk along the beach!
Can you imagine my surprise when no more than three hours later my beloved boyfriend calls me with an ultimatum?! Yup. Suddenly it was make or break. His tone was aggressive...
"You're allergic to my dog so you really need to decide what you want to do."
What? Where on earth had this come from?! We just had a lovely time together and what had happened during that short time apart?
Yes I'm allergic to dogs. He had always known that. He has a dog. I have know that since I rejected him for that very reason when our dating profiles 'matched' online but as it turned out we met anyway.
I get it - he loves his dog. Most dog lovers are the same. I should in this case he looooooooooooves his dog to the point of worship.
We had discussed this when we met and how we very different perspectives on the value of the canine species. We had agreed we could work around my allergy and his dog. I was reluctant but gave in and gave the relationship a go. Thus far it was, mostly, worthwhile, (despite the impact of my allergies) so here we were meeting families and making plans for the future. Suddenly it had become a deal breaker - and entirely my decision!
I asked him to chat with me face to face. He was abrupt and very closed to that suggestion. Why was the future of OUR whole relationship suddenly in my hands? He had clearly made his decision, he just wasn't strong enough to tell me. The excuse of my allergies didn't make sense. None of it made sense and probably never will. That's okay....
Our last supper together was happy, fun and full of hope. I never saw him again despite his plans and promises and my requests. I don't know what he was smoking that afternoon after our last supper but I'm truly glad that I'm no longer involved with him. I am thankful that I have been able to continue being happy, having fun and most of all full of hope - which is surely at the heart of the last supper.
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