Are you my wife?

I have to admit that I really enjoy playing badminton, I really do. I am a competitive, energetic, fast paced person and so badminton is truly the perfect game for me and I love playing it, even if I lose. I had been explaining my passion for badminton to Harry* at a social event.

I had known Harry for about three years. I had seen him around at various social events over the years and we have always had a good chin wag. Harry was quite an affable fellow and seemed nice enough from our brief encounters over the years. It turns out that Harry hadn’t ever played badminton before but instead has a passion for squash. We eventually agreed to a badminton match! I was very excited by this prospect because my last badminton buddy has just given birth and the problem with badminton is that you really can’t play by yourself!

I won the first set. Lost the second set but came back and won the third set and crowned myself the champion. Harry said he was surprised I was such a good player! I found this brutal honesty quite rude but at least he was honest, I suppose. I exercised my self-control and refused to expose my surprise that his squash skills were not as evident as he had made me expect. I was hoping to get more of a work out to secure my win.

I did have quite a few opportunities to ensure that Harry got to run about across the full area of the court and by the end of the game he was covered in sweat and an interesting beetroot colour. I wasn’t sure if I should call an ambulance for him but in the end we decided to get a drink instead. We moved to the little café, just at the entrance to the sports centre. There were kids running around everywhere and the smell of chlorine from the pool was really strong. Suddenly Harry looked at me directly and in a stern tone asked, “Do you know why I want to spend time with you?”

This felt like a trick question. Is this a test? We were playing badminton, which was obvious, so weren’t we there to play badminton? Is it that simple? Does he think I am stupid? I felt my eyes roll left and then to the right looking desperately for any clues, “ummmmm” I cautiously replied hoping that perhaps if my ummmmmmmmm was long enough something dramatic may quickly happen to save me, ideally the return of Christ to zap me to heaven, so that the awkward moment would be over. I fidget in my seat and suddenly it feels like I am being interviewed.

“I want to know if you are my wife?” Harry announced. WHAT? Who? I looked over my shoulder to check if there was someone else he could have been speaking to.Then it dawned on me, there was no one behind me, in fact the only thing behind me was a wall.  I was the person he was talking to. Was I his wife?! Me? NO! I am not even married. How did we go from badminton to wife? WIFE! What has happened? What have I missed? 

We aren’t even dating and he hasn’t even asked me to even go on a date together.

Then it hit me. This was a date! I had been on a date for the last hour and didn’t even know I was on a date! How has this happened to me? We played badminton which is the most un-date like date there could be! There were no candles or Celine Dion singing in the background. This date was disguised so well I was totally fooled into thinking that playing badminton was indeed playing badminton. Ladies beware!

Since when did a game of badminton turn into a wife hunting exercise?

I had actually really enjoyed the game and would have met up with Harry to play badminton again. I don’t know the guy too well but the from small beginnings great things can come and we all need good friends which is the basis of good relationships, which I suppose could develop into something more. 

Harry however made it very clear that he was only looking for one thing from his time with me, yet sadly we hadn’t got the chance to get to know each other and instead he simply freaked me out. His desire was to find a wife was so strong that it was at the expense of everything else. I was sad that Harry ONLY wanted to spend time with me was to see if I was HIS wife. While I could have been his wife, I am also a number of other things as well and that includes a pretty good badminton player. 

*Not his real name – to protect his future wife.